|
|
Give The Gift Of Silence
Listening is an art and a skill. It requires discipline and focused attention.
When you give the gift of silence, you allow others the chance to think and process their thoughts. The time required to do this varies tremendously, depending on whom you're talking to.
Article continued below
| |
sponsored by:
CARE COMPANY INTERNATIONAL
|
TOP SHELF TIP NO. 64
"There is nothing impossible to him who will try."
Alexander the Great, the most successful military commander in history, 356-323 BC | |
|
|
When it comes to sharing thoughts and feelings about an event, there are two very different types of personalities. In both cases, the "tell-me-more" approach works well, but the timing needs to be different.
Yesterday and today, Promotional Consultant Today looks at the art of listening. Monday we explored the art of dealing with the Fast-Twitch Responder. Today we'll review the Slow-Twitch Responder.
The Slow-Twitch Responder
Unlike the fast-twitch responder, slow-twitch people tend to process everything internally, preferring not to share the end result until it is edited and refined to a finished product.
These people never share a verbal rough draft. The new stimuli they receive in conversations enter a processing chamber where it is kept, considered and condensed into manageable material. This takes time and requires patience by those who eagerly await an explanation or a report about what's going on.
Impatience at this point will cause the listener to jump straight into tell mode, as in, "Let me tell you what I think." The lecture the listener delivers is neither appreciated nor helpful.
On the other hand, patience combined with thoughtful silence will usually produce a concise account of true feelings and ideas from a slow-twitch responder.
Give A Little Space
To gain credibility, learn to give space and time to others before making your verbal contribution. Give the gift of silence and let people consider their actions and their words. Use phrases like: "Tell me more." "What else?" "What then?" "How so?" "What did that mean to you?" "How are you feeling now?"
These phrases will prompt more information, which will give you a detailed understanding of people and situations. Not only will this build trust, but it will also keep you from making incorrect assumptions about people and events.
Squelch Your Own Thoughts
Find an opportunity to use the phrase, "Tell me more." Resist the temptation to respond with your own thoughts until you allow the slow-twitch responder to tell you what's on their minds.
The only assumption worth having is one when you expect there's more to the story, not one when you think you have all the answers. Nine times out of 10, your best guess about the truth will never be as rich as the story you need to hear.
Source: David Benzel is an author and speaker in leadership and creating peak performance. As the founder of Winning Ways, he has worked with organizations including Allstate Insurance, Sprint/Nextel and The Villages. He is the author of the upcoming, Chump to Champ: How Individuals Go From Good to Great. | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
Copyright 2005-2007 Promotional Consultant Today. All Rights Reserved. |
|
|